My life was full of relationship curves and cracks. From my late teenage, i felt the sense of not loved.It started when I had a crush on a girl at first sight[ love at first sight]. I took it to be a kinda lust so I ignore my feeling because I was then deeply religious. This feeling was affirmed at a church camp meeting we attended together as the feelings grew stronger and stronger. I would hardly look at her face. I was very shy of her even though her presence means a lot to me. This time round, I wouldn’t resist the feeling. I accepted that, it was love. My focus was strictly channeled to her and nobody else. I had a complete future with her in my dreams.
First, I approached her as a loyal friend…though that was not my initial aim. We talk on phone but face to face chats were hell difficult for us. We stayed for two years in friendship without revealing my true intention. It got to a point where I totally believed that she loves me too. She was enrolling in Snr. High Sch. thinking she was matured enough, I asked for her hand in dating but i had no positive reply. All she told me was that she was not ready and don’t even believe in love at that tender age. I was ashamed, disturbed and confused but I took it a bit lightly because of my friends consolations, hoping a second approach will surely work. I waited for a while trying to get her attention. To my surprise, she did not ignore me so our friendship kept on moving. I would sit in my closet crying and thinking about her. Obviously, my tears and thoughts couldn’t win her. However, the fifth approach even didn’t catch. Hmm… that was the greatest pain I ever encountered. I don’t think I will develop such a strong feeling for someone else. I prayed that when she finally develops a feeling like mine for someone, that person should do same for her. Because I did not want her to go through what I went through neither do I wanted her be used and dumped. I got to know that she was dating seriously. Though I believe in winners never quit. But I gave up because according to my brother the guy she’s going out with was damn rich, good looking and intelligent. She later pinpointed that she can’t reciprocate even an inch of love for me. Since then, I boldly said to myself that LOVE does not exist and that it was just a mere illusion of man’s emotions. I saw no importance of the word. To me, love is matter of happenstance. I made mockery of those who claimed that they were passionately in love [haha hehee…] I saw them as jokes and lotto winners. My adherence to religion depressed since I saw no God’s intervention in my love situation. I used to hate players but I perfectly understood them. Dennis became a notorious guy. I valued no love so I would propose to as many as three girls in a day hoping that, what I called luck will fall on my side. Yeah!! some accepted me, most didn’t. Now, the pains of rejection was normal to my entire soul since that was not my first experience. It didn’t end there..
Afterwards, I met another beautiful girl by the name Joyce. I came home for money. As usual a whole class in Krobo Girls’ High Sch. visited my church, the school’s affiliated church. After church, she got closer to me and introduced herself. We exchange numbers and that was the beginning of our friendship. I saw in her reactions that she wanted something more than friendship. Hey! As you know men hardly reject offer. She made me develop a feeling for her than what I was having after that incident. Although I wasn’t faithful to her, I cherished her and placed her on top. She did all her possible best to make me believe that she loves me and that she is rich too. I planed to keep her forever because of her money and not love. Eeii… She was even badder than me. One day I received a phone call from a number Joyce used to call me once in school. This was the introduction “hello I’m Stella, Joy’s friend. Please who are you to Joyce” I thought it was a planned work from Joyce so I boldly told her, she is my serious girlfriend. “What? your what?” she screamed. Here I am, been deceived. We became friends. We spoke almost everyday. Initially, she refused to tell why she screamed. But as I kept on interrogating her, she told me everything she knew about Joyce. It was revealed to me that the girl was a liar and a cheat as well. She had numerous boyfriends and was from a very poor family even worst than mine. I took advantage of Stella and entered into a relationship with her. I didn’t tell Joyce that I know the truth about her because her prime suspect would be Stella. Stella thought I broke up with her friend and Joyce also did not know what was going on. Later Joyce find out what was between her friend and I and that brought their friendship to an end. She filed for a break up but I lured her. I told her that I had regret for my action and that I will never repeat it again in our relationship. She was convinced and accepted me back. We were in a relationship of no trust. She was afraid of me and I also didn’t believe her. I then decided to find out the truth myself. I contracted a friend to date Joyce and it perfectly worked out. She gave my friend a family background which was in contrast with what she told me. Yeah!! It has perfectly proved to me that she is a liar and a cheat. Woaw!! Stella was speaking the truth and not jealousy as I sometimes saw it to be.
Unfortunately, my friend failed in the middle of the mission. The guy felt for Joyce so they came against me. Joyce paid visit to my friend every weekends. I was painful. I try to stop my friend but it didn’t work. Three years stay in the University, I often saw my closest friend hanging out with my ex-girl friend. It was deem hell. I continued with my notorious life. The Dennis they knew had change into something worse. Yeah!! Nobody understood me but to feel there is no love available in life is to change completely into a dog. My life was in a complete mesh, I wouldn’t differentiate between ugly and beautiful, fat and slim, skin lighted and dark skinned girls. All I knew was every girl has the feminine features.
Afterwards, a friend sat me down and blew into my head a awesome advice. I was convinced that God had not yet given me my future partner. I calmed like a cat hoping that God will now give my own. The guy really did well. I returned back to my first love. There was this girl that i developed feeling for shortly after my convention but I ignore that simply because I didn’t want to go back to my previous situation. I kept this feeling all to myself. Days after days, months pass by and it’s now two years still single. I was constantly seeking the face of God to do away with the scares I left on the hearts of women I played with and to forgive me as well. I reported to Felix about the feeling and he asked me to go forward. He presumed that the girl was single. I became closer to her. I do see her off after church, buy her gifts and we would even be on phone for about hours. Hmm…”finally God had answered my prayers” I said to myself.
It’s 11pm, we had closed from an festival’s artiste night. As usual I have to go see her off.On our way, I paused and look straight in her eyes without any word. She was nervous so she ask why I was stirring at her. “never mine” I replied but she still insisted for a reason. Man! I wouldn’t hold my emotions any longer. I moved closer, turn to her face, held her hands, my sight pierced straight into her pupil and all that I said was that Mag do you love me? Her head went down for some few seconds and tears ran off her cheek as she lift up her head. In my mind I was a winner and my heart was filled with joy. With my thumb, I gently cleared off the tears on her cheek. What!!! She slowly shook her head. She said “Dennis I love you but…” “but what?” I came in there. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts but I can’t hurt him too. I love you and waited for you all this while, hoping you going to show some interest but you didn’t so, I thought you didn’t love me. I was just last month that I accepted a proposal. This guy truly worships me. Hmm!! I can’t. I can’t disappoint him” she insisted. Fuck! It has happened again. I bow in shame and in tears. She wipe my tears same way I did, she placed her hands across my shoulders and the next moment we were kissing in tears. She pushed me back, with her palms she wiped off her tears and said bye! Bye!! in low tone. I did not call her since then. As if that was enough.
I became every successful and the ladies in my village knowing that I wasn’t married wanted my attention. It was festival again the family had met for merry making. It’s Thursday’s night. the whole family went outing leaving me in house because I didn’t want any new memories of love. I sat down alone in porch with my earpiece in ears, listening to music. A female childhood friend approached me with a discussion. She sat on the left arm of my chair. She removed the left speaker and place it in her ear..She moved her hands from my shoulders to chest repeatedly. I realized that we in my. Shit! She got me in her hot panties. I really enjoyed every bit of style her gave to me in bed. She is damn hot. That was my highest pleasure I gained from sex. I opted for her services daily till my stay was over. I warned her never to call me again. Two months later, I received a call from a strange number. It was Mamle, my childhood female friend. She claimed that she was pregnant for me. I asked her to abort but she claimed that her parents were already aware. According, her dad, it is a must for me to marry her. At first I opposed it because I don’t love her but as the hot sex memories rush into my head, accepted her. Father never supported it and he vow never to allow me to marry that low class girl. My next alternative was to give her four goats and a very huge amount of money as a compensation. This is how my first son, Lucky made his debut to the earth. Mother, you see why your son is unmarried.
I have tried but didn’t simply work. I’m predestined to be a bachelor. I had never found love. Please help me to cater for Smart and Lucky. They will grow up being smart and lucky in relationship than their father. Maybe I’m not smart enough. Nah! That is not the case. Think God is not fair to me. Or what do you think? Shh save your comment God is watching you.